Push Back Against Fifty Shades of Gray

Teresa Tomeo had a stirring interview yesterday February 11 about the harm of violent pornography 
with Dr. Mary Anne Laden, one of the nation's foremost authorities on sexual trauma.
Please listen to the interview.

I despise violence and particularly violence against women.

Here is some more information for parents of college students going off to college. There is said to be a culture of violence against women on some campuses nowadays which movies like this new one help to sustain.

I heard a great interview on FamilyLife Today on the radio. Dennis Rainey interviewed Mary Kassian. Her book Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild is a must read for every young lady and parents too. The interview was riveting. She emphasized the importance of setting pre established protective boundaries, so as to avoid getting into a compromising or unsafe place in the first place. She gives plenty of examples. Preview at Amazon Click here to listen to the interview.

Yesterday I heard another great interview on NPR Radio's On Point Program. If you have daughters (or sons) away at college or are contemplating sending them off to college, you must listen to this interview.

When you listen to this riveting interview you will hear from two ladies who have the stories, the facts, and the analysis that every parent with college age or soon to be college age kids will want to listen to.

For example, these ladies talk to college kids all across the country and here is what they repeatedly hear. They hear of violence and other bad things happening to women on campus. They also hear of hostile atmospheres that no one seems to be doing anything about.

For example, they said that the girls they talk to are telling them that when girls are walking around the campus they see boys looking at really heavy duty degrading things to women on their computers--openly, even in the common areas. They emphasized that this is not unusual or isolated, it is common.

One of the ladies made the comment that there is something wrong with the college culture when the morning after the night before, one person feels guilty and used and the other person is getting high fives.

Of course, every school will say they are taking it seriously, that there are policies and there are administrators and counselors and training, etc. But something doesn't add up. The statistics for violence on campuses, according to these ladies, are telling. Something is wrong. Best to become informed. Hear what these ladies and others have to say, and then make an informed decision.

I read a book by Campus psychiatrist, Dr. Miriam Grossman MD, entitled Unprotected, and it alerted me to think twice about just sending kids away and assuming that the level of care, protection, and supervision will be what you would want for your child.
Today you hear of many young people who are moving back in with their parents while going to college. Sounds like a good idea to me.

I've heard the argument made that letting kids come back home is coddling the kids, overprotecting them and so on. But you know what--if it means that your son or daughter is safe from being sexually assaulted or raped, then I'm in favor of kids staying safely with their parents a little longer.

Here are some more resources to become informed on this issue

Resources to Counter Violence against women in pornography
1. National Center on Sexual Exploitation
2. 50ShadesIsAbuse Campaign
3. Catholic Therapist Dr. Peter Kleponis & his book Integrity Restored, help for those with porn addiction & their families.
4. Covenant Eyes - Internet Accountability and Filtering
5. Old Fashioned, The Movie.
6. “Extreme Makeover; Women Transformed by Christ Not Conformed to the Culture” Teresa Tomeo
7. Matt Fradd - The Porn Effect, real help for those addicted to porn and their families.

8. Dr. Miriam Grossman, MD - How to Talk to Your Child About Fifty Shades of Grey  
9.. Shelley Lubben, former porn star, exposes the truth about pornography in this important video of her presentation about the harm to everyone involved including those who view it.

Roland Trujillo, author and radio advice program host, has been helping people with life and relationship issues for over 25 years. he is the author of 18 books