Healing Relationships - Try a Little Tenderness
There was a song made famous by Otis Redding, and also sung by Frankie Laine, Frank Sinatra and others, called "Try a Little Tenderness." I recommend you listen to it, and just think about it as if it were a song written about relationships in general. "Try a little tenderness" is not a bad idea.
The parent with a cell phone in one ear, yapping on the phone, and barking out snappy, bossy commands or "I'll talk to you later" to her child is most likely a prideful, arrogant person.
If someone questions her about her supercilious condescending treatment of her child, she has plenty of excuses, rationale, and justification all rushing to the defense of her pride. But the parent's message to the child is clear: You are not important. I am important. You are bothering me.
If someone questions her about her supercilious condescending treatment of her child, she has plenty of excuses, rationale, and justification all rushing to the defense of her pride. But the parent's message to the child is clear: You are not important. I am important. You are bothering me.
Another thing. Why do we have to be authoritarian and hard when it comes to little issues with our kids? I was talking to a lady yesterday, and the question arose about what is the most googled topic that brings people to may parenting blog, I told her that it was "my child does not want to clean her room. "
She said: "I force my daughter to go to her room, and she is not allowed to come out until the room is clean." I told her that such an action is mean. Do you know what this arrogant fool said? She said "I don't care."
I told her that I always recommend patience. She said she tried patience and it doesn't work.
Of course not. She does not have patience.
Ann Landers once said that we should treat people in our family with as much courtesy as we do people we encounter in public. I would say that civility is the absolute bottom line. But more is needed. We need patience, kindness, understanding, reasonableness, and yes, a little tenderness.
Next time your kids or spouse are a little tired or stressed out. Don't add to their burden. Try a little tenderness.