Roland's New Book About Relationships and Marriage is Finally Available
A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
-- Ruth Bell Graham.When asked his secret of love, being married fifty-four years to the same person, he said, "Ruth and I are happily incompatible."
-- Billy Graham
Preview my book The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage in Kindle at Amazon.com
There's nothing unusual about couples arguing. It's as old as the hills. I'm sure Eve resented Adam and would never let him forget how he got them kicked out of paradise and thrown out on the street.
She probably reminded him every day about his failing. And he probably did what most husbands do: he resented his wife and blamed her.
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Couples are arguing from Miami to Seattle. And if you go to Taipei, Moscow, Rome, Mexico City or Sidney--you will hear the same squabbling, except in a different languages.
Yet all newlyweds start off looking forward to a life of happiness. They are sure that they won't make the mistakes their parents made. But lo and behold, a few months or years later, history repeats itself. She feels unloved and he feels trapped. She is unhappy about something and he can't figure out what she wants. Something is going on underneath.
Look inside the book The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage: Making Relationships Work.On the surface, there is squabbling, nit picking, nagging, sniping, or long periods of silence. Then, you have the workaholic husband who thinks everything is fine, but all of a sudden, out of seemingly nowhere, she says her needs are not being met and she wants a divorce. But underneath the surface is resentment, misunderstanding, and selfishness.
We have been misled and have lost our way. If only we had understanding.
.Doesn't it seem odd that after 6,ooo years of human history, we still haven't figured out what's wrong? The best minds and experts have had thousands of years to work on the problem, tens of thousands of books have been written, and somehow it still eludes their grasp.
Let me ask you question. Ladies, if you saw deeply that your husband is just a man, and he inherits his nature from Adam; that all men have failed their wives; that what wives and kids need from dad is is a special fatherly agape emotionless love, but he probably hasn't found it yet. . . . If you saw, really saw, that he cannot give you what he, himself, has not yet found. . . would you still resent him? Or might you possibly have compassion?
And would you not in your heart of hearts hope that he might one day find it?
This "it" of which I speak is, of course, real love.
Were he to find it, his problem would be over and so would yours (if you were willing to cooperate with him and be willing to give up power).
Now, most likely you're wanting something from him that he hasn't found yet gets in the way of his finding himself, especially if you are still trying to change him.
But were he able to find a special agape love, your giving him a hard time would only awaken him to where he is failing and he would find it in himself to become the noble knight you need him to be.
It would be wonderful if he found it. But if you can learn to not resent him and if you can give up judgment and contempt for men and their weakness, love could spring within you. Not a love you give yourself, but the love of the Father you have never known, who forgives us and rewards us with His warmth when we forgive others.
Free look inside the book for long term solutions.
You do not have to wait on your husband to find himself. If he does, that would be nice. If he does not, you can find peace of mind and joy through forgiveness and finding love within.
This special love that most men lack can only come through them from God. But you will recall that Adam (with the enabling codependent love of his wife who he used to support his pride) doubted and disobeyed God, bringing separation from God, and death on the whole human race.
This fallen, earthy death oriented existence is what we are all born into (but there burns in our hearts the hope of redemption).
The man must find an inner connection with the Creator, whereby he can share in the life and light from God and then share it with his family.
But as long as he looks to his wife, boss, minister, work, or the accountability group for support, he won't find the support from God.
Remember how the women around Jesus loved Him? He was the first man who did not use them. He loved them as a person and not an object of use. He was the first man who did not fail them.
Men, can you see why you must not look to your wife for support? And why you must find an inner rapport with God so that you can begin to fail less and less? When you love her as a person and when you learn to be more fatherly, you won't tempt her by your anger or wimpiness to resent you.
.There now, I have teased you with a little preview (see the book). You see, your own Bible has the story of how enmity came between the sexes, how men fail, how their wives resent them (and support their man's wrong). And both become more and more guilty and resentful.
.The Bible has the answer: forgiveness, patience, and understanding. And there is a plan of salvation from separation from God and from the fallen existence based on emotions, compensation, pride and the enslaving love of the world.
But words alone are not enough to convey it to you. The words do not have the power to make it happen, only to awaken you to what you have still not found. You have to see the truth and understand it deeply.
You have to understand it so deeply that you see why you must not resent your husband. (read more in the book).
And you men have to see it so deeply that you understand why you must be inwardly motivated, and not look to anyone on the outside (including your wife) to support your character. You must see so deeply why you must be principled, honorable, and never take advantage that you will never be tempted to fall for even the smallest temptation.
Maturing, being less selfish, and having more compassion for each other's plight, you could become very good friends instead of bringing out and supporting the worst in each other.
.You see, marriage is not the problem. Marriage is an institution ordained by God. It is a framework within which to work out our differences and learn to be unselfish.
Instead of blaming marriage, we need to look at human nature and how we relate to each other.
The problem is a combination of selfishness and a lack of understanding of what love and relationships are all about. There's a lot of misinformation out there about love, sex, and marriage.
Read What Is Love?
For a donation of any amount, get Roland's eBook on marriage free as our gift.
Look inside the book now.
Santa's Take on Parenting - Secrets from the North Pole
Santa Claus has finally spoken on the subject of parenting. Who is better suited to give advice that the one who has brought joy and delight to children for as long as anyone can remember? In this fictional account, Santa commissioned author and lecturer Roland Trujillo to publish this book after granting an interview with him at the North Pole.
What are "time outs Santa Style?" How does Santa handle discipline and communication issues? What's on Santa's do's and don'ts list? What is Santa's secret to making chores fun and easy? What does Santa say to parents about getting off to a good start?
You'll find the answers to these questions and more in this book, destined to become a classic. Roland's new book is a Santa story for grownups with many teachable moments. Your kids will listen when you say "Santa says."
About the Author
Roland Trujillo, author and educator, introduces his new book about successful parenting. For over 20 years, Roland has been counseling and coaching parents and caregivers in building loving family relationships. Roland founded the Center for Common Sense Counseling in 1990 and hosts a popular AM radio program. His new book is for parents, grandparents, kindred/foster care providers and anyone who loves children.
"The most fun parenting book I've read in a long time."
Buy the beautiful quality paperback version at AMAZON as a gift for someone you love.
.For years, listeners have tuned in to hear Roland on the radio. Now he has compiled the best of his advice to couples in this fascinating guide. It all began in the Garden of Eden. Read about Adam and Eve, and don't be surprised to find Robin Hood and Scarlett O'Hara too.
Roland's new book is now here! Preview 50 pages online free
For a limited time, for a donation of any amount receive the ebook as our gift
He makes it simple, but you also get the deep causes for misunderstandings between men and women. Like the good detective Columbo, Roland finds clues in relationships around us that help you solve the mystery of what all the squabbling is all about. Listen to Roland's 15 minute radio lecture on the subject.
.Why do we argue? Why is my husband so quiet? Does divorce affect the kids? Can we reconcile? Why does my wife give me such a hard time? How can I be more forgiving? These are just a few of the topics discussed.
This is a book you will reach for many times over the years.
Table of ContentsMy Husband and I Argue All the Time 10
How to Forgive and Forget 24
A Deeper Look Into Relationship Dynamics 28
Just How Important is Dad? 46
Men, Straighten Up and Fly Right 51
Are There No More Good Men Left 56
Can I Reconcile with My Husband, Wife, or Child? 60
How Do I Become More Forgiving? 64
Is Food Your Secret Lover and Enabler? 67
Coach Roland Talks to Husbands and Dads 72
Dealing with Hard Times 87
My People Perish For Lack of Knowledge 92
Good Dads and Fathers – We Need Them More than Ever 96
A Listener Asks 99
Adam & Eve: The First Dysfunctional Family 105
Ego Problems 113
Recovery: Finding the Way Back from Naughty to Natural to Innocence 122
Coping with Manipulative and Controlling People 136
Change and Its Defense 141
My Son Doesn’t Listen to Me 166
Advice to Divorced Moms 171
Restoring Order in the Home and Nation Via a Change of Heart 178
Preview 50 pages free online
.For a donation of any amount receive the ebook as our gift. Learn more