My partner and I have nothing in common - another of Roland's poems

My partner and I have nothing in common
I think we have finally hit rock bottom
He says yes and I say no
I say fast and he says slow.

I disapprove of what he does
I say "why'd you do that?" 
And he just shrugs and says 'cause.

I like long talks and moonlit walks
He'd rather watch sports and eat right out of the box

I want to go on a cruise
He would rather stay home and snooze

We just don't have anything in common
I think we've hit rock bottom

I'm the husband of her
And I would have to say I heartily concur.

She's moody  but says everything is fine.
So I go to the game and she says I neglect her all the time

Everything I say is wrong
She even says my pauses are too long

I like thin socks so she gets me wool
I like the house warm, and she keeps it cool.

Okay, okay you guys. Let's call a time out
Otherwise to get a word in, I will have to shout

If you think you have nothing in common with each other
I assure you that you would have even less with another.

You balance each other and keep each other from snoring
If you agreed on everything, it would be totally boring,

Enjoy the things you like
And let him enjoy the things he likes

Go to lunch with your friend
And be glad he watches TV instead of going out to spend.

Give him some space,
Resenting him is a waste

Get some good books and take some classes
Be glad he is boring and not out making passes

Okay, he's not perfect,
But neither are you.
So enjoy the quiet moments
And relax a little too.

And she's right, Mr. Hubby
You are getting chubby.

Now that you are older
Instead of clamming up and giving her a cold shoulder
You must speak up for yourself and be bolder,

But with firmness, and kindness, and patiently.
In short, you must become more fatherly.

If she disapproves of everything you say
It shouldn't bother you in any way.
Just be be long suffering, patient and kind
And never you mind
If she does something naughty today

It's your job to be thoughtful and wise.
Even if she gets you socks the wrong size
Have a twinkle in your eye
And give her a hug before you say good bye
And instead of frown, put a smile in every hi.

Life is short, not long
So sing a happy song.
She is staying with you
And putting up with you too.

And as for you, young lady,

Don't secretly judge everything you see him do
He'll give up and get lazy, and you'll start to sound crazy

Sometimes defer and let him lead the way
That's what the wise old matchmaker used to say. 




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