There are as many reasons for divorce as there are stars in the Milky Way Galaxy. Having been a couples coach for over 25 years, I've heard many of them.
So here are the Top 10 Reasons for Divorce, and then I will offer a few comments.
1. My husband and I have nothing in common.
Comment: Often this means "I resent my husband." Marriage is for the purpose of raising a family and to learn to be unselfish. I wrote a blog post on the subject. Having totally different interests has its pluses.
2. I'm tired of arguing all the time.
Comment: the phrase "I'm tired of" basically means I'm resentful
3. I met someone else.
Comment: Naughty, naughty
4. I want to find someone who meets my needs.
Comment. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. But as someone said, it has to be cut, fertilized and watered too.
5. My spouse committed adultery and I can't forgive him or her.
Comment. This is a tough one. Adultery is grounds for divorce. Nevertheless, as one person said, "adultery is grounds for divorce, but it is also grounds for forgiveness." Try to let go of the resentment, because resentment clouds your ability to see clearly and also is not good for your emotional health..
6. We have grown apart.
Comment: Join the club
7. I want to find someone else before I'm too old.
Comment: I am already too old, so that frees me to focus on something else other than myself. .
8. My husband irritates me.
Comment: Watch out for resentment. Resentment increases our sensitivity and irritability.
9. I need to take some time to find myself.
Comment: This is what men say when they have a roving eye or most likely when they have already found someone else. Get some wise mentors and assess whether there is a future with this guy or not. If he is permanently selfish and weak charactered, this might be a case of good riddance to bad rubbish.
10. We are incompatible. We are having a s*xless marriage.
Comment: these two do not necessarily equate. You would be surprised how many marriages become sexless. Sorry. s*xless. There is something to be said for graciously laying down the things of youth. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I prefer grandma and grandpa to be dignified at all times.
I like what Lord Chesterfied had to say about it: "The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable."
11. My husband refuses to work on our marriage or go to counseling.
Comment: Most men are this way. But that is not a reason to throw in the towel.
12. I think my spouse is cheating on me.
Comment: If he is cheating on you, this is not good, with all the diseases going around. Adultery is grounds for divorce. Stay calm and build yourself a good support network. Be prepared to protect yourself financially, legally, and health wise. I cannot advise what to do, get professional advice where you are.
Remember the words of Ivana Trump, "Don't get mad, get everything."
Read My Husband and I Have Nothing in Common
This is a blog in progress, so I will be adding more comments
Roland Trujillo MS, DPP, OM, is the author of 18 books and host of a radio advice program now in its 26th year